Social Commentator

Waleed Aly, what’s that?

Folks, Waleed Aly is at it again. Sudanese gangs he says, they don’t exist. He’s speakin the truth they say? Remember folks, Col. Jessup: You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honour, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post.

 

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Social Commentator

Christie Whelan Browne says bum again!

Folks, I’d never heard of Christie Whelan Browne until the other day; now let’s start with her name, which sounds impressive and really should be written Whelan-Browne. Now there are several things to note about this nomenclature. She has kept her maiden name and joined it with her husband’s, so, to start with she’s got a double barrelled name which is always suss. Furthermore, this shows she’s a mad feminist, can’t acknowledge male hegemony. Then there is the name Browne spelt with an e. Now this is a marker, which in Ireland meant you were a Protestant. In other words, dumb Catholics spelt their name, Brown. Coupled with all of this, she is an actress who alleges that actor Craig McLachlan indecently assaulted her during a 2014 production of cult musical The Rocky Horror Show. The particulars are: he was kissing my bum. Dearie me! dearie me! What shall I do? Well she went to the newspapers not the police. Now she says people are rude to her and has been wrongly accused of being a gold-digger Jezebel. Ho-hum the beat goes on.

Then if anything grows, while you pose

I’ll oil you up and rub you down (down, down, down)

And thats just one small fraction, of the main attraction

You need a friendly hand, oh I need action

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Social Commentator

Katy Gallagher to stand again!

Katy Gallagher, a Labor dead beat, was thrown out of the Senate for breaching section 44 of Constitution. Now she’s back, without so much as a by your leave, spreading buttercups and daisies as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth; not a care in the world not an ounce of remorse for duping the Australian public. This country is overrun with pommy retreads.

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Social Commentator

To cull or not to cull?

Crocodiles have been seen swimming and sunning themselves at two popular Far North Queensland water holes. Take it from me folks, ya can always tell a crocodile lover because they wear their underdaks up their bum crack and live in a cold climate. Everyone knows a dead croc is a good one; shoot em high, shoot em low, shoot em up anytime. Those dam crocs we seek em here, we seek em der, we seek em ebbrywhere. Those dam crocs are good for nuttin, nuttin, not a ting at all. Lets get rid of them and celebrate a day at the beach croc free.

But the biggest kick I ever got was doing a thing called the Crocodile Chop. While the other kids were rocking round the clock, we were hopping and bopping to the Crocodile Chop.

 

 

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Social Commentator

Karl Stefanovic is having a one wheeler removed!

There is not a madder bunch of kamikaze dropkicks than cyclists who think they are God’s gift to the urban snarl and crawl. The lowing herd wind slowly o’er the lea, and the driver homeward plods his weary way, and leaves the world to darkness and to me while these scrawny lycra looneys duck and weave amongst us in the ineffable drag to reach our door but plodding legislators give all to unregistered riders and cycles whilst we poor bastards have our arses taxed off by police and polly alike. In yer old tin hat Karl Stefanovic, you’re a nose pick!

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Social Commentator

Sales & Palmer go tete a claques!

Leigh Sales interview of Clive Palmer on The 7.30 Report on Monday night (28 May) was nothing more than a hysterical woman screaming at a male over some imagined wrong he had committed, which Sales believed was a solid rolled gold fact as Mr Boxhead Shorten would say. Mr Palmer is in court proceedings before a single judge in which certain interlocutory orders have been made; they are not set in concrete and the matter is far from being resolved. Ms Cait Kelly, Daily Mail has come to the aid of Sales and, if it were a male situation, it would be called the old-boy network, stickin up for one of their own. Since it is females, perhaps, we can say it’s the old-broads’ network.  Sales and Kelly are a solid rolled gold pair of dumb arsed reporters.

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