Folks, I’d never heard of Christie Whelan Browne until the other day; now let’s start with her name, which sounds impressive and really should be written Whelan-Browne. Now there are several things to note about this nomenclature. She has kept her maiden name and joined it with her husband’s, so, to start with she’s got a double barrelled name which is always suss. Furthermore, this shows she’s a mad feminist, can’t acknowledge male hegemony. Then there is the name Browne spelt with an e. Now this is a marker, which in Ireland meant you were a Protestant. In other words, dumb Catholics spelt their name, Brown. Coupled with all of this, she is an actress who alleges that actor Craig McLachlan indecently assaulted her during a 2014 production of cult musical The Rocky Horror Show. The particulars are: he was kissing my bum. Dearie me! dearie me! What shall I do? Well she went to the newspapers not the police. Now she says people are rude to her and has been wrongly accused of being a gold-digger Jezebel. Ho-hum the beat goes on.

Then if anything grows, while you pose

I’ll oil you up and rub you down (down, down, down)

And thats just one small fraction, of the main attraction

You need a friendly hand, oh I need action