Folks, just as I started to settle down after a tumultuous, tsunami of shocks and outrages, I come to find I’ve been sat right down in the shit again without a by your leave. There’s whiskey in the jar, he shouted. Pour yaself a dram or two, bro. Who’ll do me this time, who’ll do me now? Manspreaders, the dirty buggers. Keep ya legs together ya brazen hussy, ya jezebel. Ya the whore of Babylon, bejesus. Ya made me drunk with the wine of her fornication. You’re a manspreader, the mother of harlots and an abomination of the earth. The solution to the problem is according to the femo-nazis, squirting a solution on the trouser area covering the man’s genitals. There goes my only possession; there goes my everything. One banana, two bananas, who’ll do me this time, who’ll do me now? What did Freud call it? Penis envy!
Folks, what does a child’s behaviour say about its parents? Woof, woof I suppose. No seriously, here we have a child, 9 year old Harper Nielsen, waging the tail of the education system in Queensland over the National Anthem because Harper believes it doesn’t include Aborigines. Aborigine me, Aborigine you, We’re not just the people who eat kangaroo. Pauline Hanson says “Here we have a kid who’s been brainwashed and I tell you what, I’d give her a kick up the backside.” Really the question is this: What does it say about the current state of Australian society and culture? This kid is either a two minute wonder or pain in the arse for ever and a day.
This old man, he played brass,
He played knick-knack on my arse;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give a dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.
Folks, the ABC have consulted Andrew Bonnell, Associate Professor in History about Senator Fraser Anning saying the “final solution” to the problem of migration by Muslims was a national vote. Howdy doody, what a finger lickin, rootin tootin, helluva idea, Prof Bonnell says Senator Fraser Anning must be kind of inhabiting an extreme right-wing mental universe, struth, strike me lucky. What’s it mean, bro? Oh I think it means Senator Fraser Anning must be always trying to ‘make a quid’ or ‘knock off a Sheila’. Ya reckon, what about the ABC then? Oh their livin in an extreme left-wing mental institution.
Folks, Kate Langbroek, I don’t get; she is neither smart nor funny. Yet there she sits bestride the media circus like some seasoned performer with a well loved routine and a punch line at the ready. Of course, she started off with Melbourne Community radio station Triple R, say no more, say no more. But there ya have it. However, what does that say for comedy in Australia? Nothing as far as I can see; it’s just a bunch of dumb broads talkin about their bodily functions, Wendy Hammer, Judith Lucy and Hannah Gadsby. Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, and nothin else.
What do you say when you watch Denton and Magda Szubanski doing an antipasto, gherkin off on TV. It was pathetic. What do you say when your too fucked up and there’s nothin on TV but the Dirt diggler whose makin ya illin’; I’m feelin kinda drowsy. What a bore, Magda saved the whole dam gay race with her marriage equality campaign, just think of all the new littlins we’re goin to have. Oh hum, she’s a bum, bum again; she’s too fat for me!
PS ABCTV has cancelled “Roseanne” what a beauty Newk!
Is Barnaby Joyce a hypocrite? Hypocrisy is the contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real character or inclinations, especially with respect to religious and moral beliefs. Hypokrites was a technical term for a stage actor. What is Barnaby Joyce’s principal occupation: a politician? Since the highest function of a politician is to play-act, act out, or dissemble, then has any gain or merit come from the name calling and ridiculing of Mr Joyce. His real perfidy, it is said, is that he opposed same sex marriage. Hardly a major failing, if viewed from a 2000 years historical perspective where homosexuality has never been accorded legitimate recognition. However, in the new world of anything goes, good’s bad today, black’s white today and day’s night today then anything goes. So gettin 150,000 bucks for an all singing, all dancing performance by Sebastian Joyce and all the other Joyces sounds cheap to me but Mamamia (Fake News Incorporated) and its band of performing suffragettes and jackasses thinks its a sin-anything goes.
Oopsi daisy, Ray Martin said nigger, then he said it again: nigger, nigger. There’s a hole in the bucket dear Lisa. Oh yeah. Well it was them darn nigger’s dat done it. Got drunk again, forgot me underdacs, I woke you up about half past three. Ray Martin’s on TV, who gives a shit. Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo, Catch a nigger by his toe, if he won’t work then let him go.
Really how many coloured gentlemen and ladies attended Meghan Markle’s wedding?
Mate, the older I’ve got, the more I believe I’m living in an upside-down world where the shit has gone to the top and the cream has fallen to the bottom and nothing makes sense anymore and one can’t just suck it and see either. I checked the News, why I don’t know, because it’s all fake news anyway and what do I find, two hollow heads making news based on their worldly wise know-all: dickbrain Paul Burrell, who’s in the jungle currently, spoke to a chimp who had danced with a chimp who had had an aba daba honeymoon with Duchess Fergie, who’d told the chimp, Prince Charles would die before the Queen – so there ya go! The other is a dumb broad called, Ros Heines who writes fake news drivel, an even purer form of bullshit and she says Vikki Campion should go on supporting parents benefit because Barnaby Joyce is a bounder and a cad and a man to boot – so put that in ya pipe and smoke it, all you goddamn arse-lickin, no-hopein men!
Tell me this, why are there so many dumbarsed female reporters around these days, who can only write fake news? Take E
Gary Lyon and the dragon Caroline Wilson, what a couple of dropkicks. Both up ’emselves, malakas extraordinaire.