Amy Schumer is 36; you’d think she was 19 given the swank she puts on but she reaching the clapped-out use by date of 40 years. The sun comes up and the sun goes down; the hands on the clock keep a-goin’ ’round. Amy says the Harry/Meghan wedding will be a worst wedding! Old brown mule he must be sick, I jambed him in the rump with a pin on a stick and he humped his back but he wouldn’t kick. Oh Amy, Oh Amy you poor little darling. Are ya humpin days over? I think ya gettin’ a cold in ya nose. Life get tee-just don’t it?
Oh dear, oh deary me, Jessica Mauboy is getting the treatment from all those nasty little racist Europeans. John Kennedy O’Connor said she was terrible, I thought, actually, she’d escaped from Wentworth and was doing cold turkey on stage. Der Spiegel suggested last week that her dress made her look like a dumpling. Oh dear, how true, those short little fat legs of hers, what a to-do, Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! She too fat for me, has anybody here seen Kelly? She’s the one for me.
Jessica Mauboy wearing the same short purple dress she wore in the semi-final, was a floparoo; she went down like a lead balloon. Ho hum back to work we go. We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, From early morn to night, We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, Up everything in sight; Jessica Mauboy was not the trick.
Hundreds of thousands on the dole stand to lose their benefits if they have outstanding court fines or are on the run from the law. Good, best thing to happen since flogging was introduced. Hit ’em high, hit ’em low, hit ’em with the old debit card.
Who ever thought Wil Anderson was funny? Only the lonely, the f**kin ABC would. What a dropkick. He’s about has funny as a hat full of farts and just as smelly. Give him the gong and send him packin; he’s no fun.
Here we go again, another top notched female apparatchik of the Labor party bites the dust-Katy Gallagher, Labor senator who was not an Australian citizen. Gough Whitlam was the great nationalist hero who said we had to dump all this pommy rot and be Australian. Here we have another pommy re-tread in the form of Katy Gallagher, clinging to her pommy boot straps like baby shit to a nappy, all the time drawing a big wage and allowances shouting her mouth off like some scold from Billingsgate fish markets. Then we have Penny Wong crying, she’s too good to lose. There came a girl from London, Who didn’t know how to dance,The only thing that she could do, Was hopping on one foot.
Where the f**k are we? I hear ya say. If you’re on ya knees and someone’s knocking on ya Khyber Pass and you don’t have a ticket from the LGBT gauleiter, then I’m afraid ya in deep shit. This man has been before four courts and ultimately, he was found to be not guilty of any offence. The facts clearly demonstrate that Ms Saxon Mullins consented to the sexual congress of the type described in the evidence before the courts. Now you have Clementine Ford, Sydney Morning Herald arguing post-coital tristesse is a legitimate weapon to use against any man who may have been dumb enough to have had consensual sex with the prosecutrix. Chinks do it, Japs do it, up in Lapland little Laps do it… But if you go down in the woods today, take a hand full of consent form!