There is not a madder bunch of kamikaze dropkicks than cyclists who think they are God’s gift to the urban snarl and crawl. The lowing herd wind slowly o’er the lea, and the driver homeward plods his weary way, and leaves the world to darkness and to me while these scrawny lycra looneys duck and weave amongst us in the ineffable drag to reach our door but plodding legislators give all to unregistered riders and cycles whilst we poor bastards have our arses taxed off by police and polly alike. In yer old tin hat Karl Stefanovic, you’re a nose pick!
Monthly Archives: May 2018
Magda Szubanski went troppo!
What do you say when you watch Denton and Magda Szubanski doing an antipasto, gherkin off on TV. It was pathetic. What do you say when your too fucked up and there’s nothin on TV but the Dirt diggler whose makin ya illin’; I’m feelin kinda drowsy. What a bore, Magda saved the whole dam gay race with her marriage equality campaign, just think of all the new littlins we’re goin to have. Oh hum, she’s a bum, bum again; she’s too fat for me!
PS ABCTV has cancelled “Roseanne” what a beauty Newk!
Barnaby Joyce to sign Hollywood contract!
Is Barnaby Joyce a hypocrite? Hypocrisy is the contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real character or inclinations, especially with respect to religious and moral beliefs. Hypokrites was a technical term for a stage actor. What is Barnaby Joyce’s principal occupation: a politician? Since the highest function of a politician is to play-act, act out, or dissemble, then has any gain or merit come from the name calling and ridiculing of Mr Joyce. His real perfidy, it is said, is that he opposed same sex marriage. Hardly a major failing, if viewed from a 2000 years historical perspective where homosexuality has never been accorded legitimate recognition. However, in the new world of anything goes, good’s bad today, black’s white today and day’s night today then anything goes. So gettin 150,000 bucks for an all singing, all dancing performance by Sebastian Joyce and all the other Joyces sounds cheap to me but Mamamia (Fake News Incorporated) and its band of performing suffragettes and jackasses thinks its a sin-anything goes.
Sales & Palmer go tete a claques!
Leigh Sales interview of Clive Palmer on The 7.30 Report on Monday night (28 May) was nothing more than a hysterical woman screaming at a male over some imagined wrong he had committed, which Sales believed was a solid rolled gold fact as Mr Boxhead Shorten would say. Mr Palmer is in court proceedings before a single judge in which certain interlocutory orders have been made; they are not set in concrete and the matter is far from being resolved. Ms Cait Kelly, Daily Mail has come to the aid of Sales and, if it were a male situation, it would be called the old-boy network, stickin up for one of their own. Since it is females, perhaps, we can say it’s the old-broads’ network. Sales and Kelly are a solid rolled gold pair of dumb arsed reporters.
Lisa Wilkinson says Barnaby Joyce is a low down dirty rat!
What a yodel. She taught me to yodel, yodel-oh-ee-dee, diddly-odel-oh-ee-dee. She’ll do me, she’ll do you, she’s got that kind of lovin’, Lord; I love to hear her when she calls me sweet daddy. There ya go, Lisa Wilkinson, some dumb asrsed broad whose only claim to fame is beatin up on equally dumb arsed men.
Doing a Ray Martin!
Oopsi daisy, Ray Martin said nigger, then he said it again: nigger, nigger. There’s a hole in the bucket dear Lisa. Oh yeah. Well it was them darn nigger’s dat done it. Got drunk again, forgot me underdacs, I woke you up about half past three. Ray Martin’s on TV, who gives a shit. Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo, Catch a nigger by his toe, if he won’t work then let him go.
Really how many coloured gentlemen and ladies attended Meghan Markle’s wedding?
Amy Schumer to give up humpin!
Amy Schumer is 36; you’d think she was 19 given the swank she puts on but she reaching the clapped-out use by date of 40 years. The sun comes up and the sun goes down; the hands on the clock keep a-goin’ ’round. Amy says the Harry/Meghan wedding will be a worst wedding! Old brown mule he must be sick, I jambed him in the rump with a pin on a stick and he humped his back but he wouldn’t kick. Oh Amy, Oh Amy you poor little darling. Are ya humpin days over? I think ya gettin’ a cold in ya nose. Life get tee-just don’t it?
Mauboy a Euro flop!
Oh dear, oh deary me, Jessica Mauboy is getting the treatment from all those nasty little racist Europeans. John Kennedy O’Connor said she was terrible, I thought, actually, she’d escaped from Wentworth and was doing cold turkey on stage. Der Spiegel suggested last week that her dress made her look like a dumpling. Oh dear, how true, those short little fat legs of hers, what a to-do, Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! She too fat for me, has anybody here seen Kelly? She’s the one for me.
Mauboy left right out!
Jessica Mauboy wearing the same short purple dress she wore in the semi-final, was a floparoo; she went down like a lead balloon. Ho hum back to work we go. We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, From early morn to night, We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, Up everything in sight; Jessica Mauboy was not the trick.
Dolees to lose dole to fines!
Hundreds of thousands on the dole stand to lose their benefits if they have outstanding court fines or are on the run from the law. Good, best thing to happen since flogging was introduced. Hit ’em high, hit ’em low, hit ’em with the old debit card.
Paul Dillon Commentator and Author 