Oh dear, oh deary me, Jessica Mauboy is getting the treatment from all those nasty little racist Europeans. John Kennedy O’Connor said she was terrible, I thought, actually, she’d escaped from Wentworth and was doing cold turkey on stage. Der Spiegel suggested last week that her dress made her look like a dumpling. Oh dear, how true, those short little fat legs of hers, what a to-do, Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! She too fat for me, has anybody here seen Kelly? She’s the one for me.
Jessica Mauboy wearing the same short purple dress she wore in the semi-final, was a floparoo; she went down like a lead balloon. Ho hum back to work we go. We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, From early morn to night, We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, Up everything in sight; Jessica Mauboy was not the trick.