Folks, I’ve had a few shocks this week. I seem to be havin ’em quite frequently lately, perhaps if I let go of the electric cord, things might settle down a bit. The hands on the clock keep a-goin round; I just get up and it’s time to lay down. Life gets tee-jus, don’t it, hmm. Of course, the biggest shock of all has been Australian comedian Hannah Gadbsy appearance at the 2018 Emmy Awards on Tuesday. Who’d have thought Gadbsy would get a run, an androgynous hippopotamus. It only goes to show what a bunch of bananas the Emmy Awards are. A couple of okies went on twitter ravin about her. Although she a man-hater, a misandrist, she must have been squeezing someone’s white banana blue and smokin banana peels.
Liberal MP Ann Sudmalis has delivered a blistering attack on her colleague Gareth Ward and the NSW Liberal Party over claims of bullying and intimidation. Bully for her, tittle-tattle, yackety-yak goes Mrs Scuttlebutt. What a beauty Newk, she went berko over the berley scattered in her electorate.
Folks, what does a child’s behaviour say about its parents? Woof, woof I suppose. No seriously, here we have a child, 9 year old Harper Nielsen, waging the tail of the education system in Queensland over the National Anthem because Harper believes it doesn’t include Aborigines. Aborigine me, Aborigine you, We’re not just the people who eat kangaroo. Pauline Hanson says “Here we have a kid who’s been brainwashed and I tell you what, I’d give her a kick up the backside.” Really the question is this: What does it say about the current state of Australian society and culture? This kid is either a two minute wonder or pain in the arse for ever and a day.
This old man, he played brass,
He played knick-knack on my arse;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give a dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.
Authors, humorists, cartoonists and individuals have the right to satirise people, public actors and religions, a right which is balanced by defamation laws. These rights and legal mechanisms were designed to protect freedom of speech from local powers, among which are Feminism, Political Correctness, Censorship, Femo-Nazis, Ethnic Bullies and Left-Wing Looneys.
Folks, I see the nut brigade are at it again. Serena Williams, what can ya say about this broad, nuttin its all been said before but she cracks a mental the other day, goes troppo and some bloke does a cartoon about the incident which is said to be a racist caricature of Serena. Who says? Say I. The image was a fair summation of her behaviour on the court. However, the femo-Nazis took umbrage with it, with Novelist J. K. Rowling leading the charge. The reality is this, there is a large group of women out there, jumped nobodies who seem to think they’re entitled to behave as they see fit and consider themselves beyond reproach. J. K. Rowling and Serena Williams are an example of this new breed of untouchable women.
The kind of women who would rather mow the lawn with their teeth than … Oranges and lemons, say the bells of St. Clement’s. Yes! We have no bananas, we have-a no bananas today. We have coconuts, walnuts and doughnuts but we have no bananas only all sorts of nuts. Female nuts with vaginal teeth, monkey nuts, parliamentary nuts, Labor nuts, Senate nuts and female Liberal party nuts, there ain’t many nuts like them. Ms Julia Baird writing in the Canberra Times said Liberal women are, finally, and spectacularly, rebelling. Hoorah for Julia. What we don’t need in Parliament she added is any bananas; they have been found to have too much testosterone, infertile rhetoric, too short in the dangle, too much bully round the head and ooze too many red-herrings. What we need Ms Baird said is more women, glorious women, bright and cheeky gals who can cock their arse at any ole bloke. There ya go, take it from the horse’s mouth!
Folks, didja hear about the nasty tactics? No! Well the ABC has got the whole story, kit and caboodle, fair dinkum: Peter Dutton’s backers refused to leave Liberal Party members’ offices. Wow, what a scoop, doo dah, doo dah day. Good on ya, tell us anothery, dirty as buggery. In the fallout from the torrid affair, Victorian Liberal MP Julia Banks announced she would quit at the next election following the “bullying and intimidation” she faced, while her Upper House colleague Lucy Gichuhi has threatened to name and shame the worst of the culprits. Struth the sheilas are quittin, and the Japs are comin, who’ll save me now? When ya feelin glum put ya finger in ya bum and whistle while ya work. Don’t leave me Malcolm, give me five minutes more, only five minutes more.