Jacinda Ardern is the prime Minister of New Zealand. Where, Oh Where Has Piggy Muldoon Gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? With his ears cut short and his tail cut long, kick em in the arse, a huntin we’ll go. Ms Ardern is a fully committed feminist, communist, socialist, tree huggin greeny, a social justice warrior, a republican and death to patriarchy. Yet she turns up wearing a head-scarf as if she was the Madonna of a thousand householes at some Muslim soiree. Give us a break, dearie who are ya kiddin Mrs Ardern?
Hi de Ho folks, I’ve been off the air for a while. However, I just saw the now-famous photo of AFLW player Tayla Harris. The first question I want to ask is who is takin the photo? Is it photographer Michael Willson takin a beaver shot of Harris or is Harris takin a beaver shot of Willson? I don’t watch footy of any description or code on TV because there was a time when the rule was, no images or footage of women below the waist but for male rugby players the cameraman was allowed to take all the up-the-leg shots he could get for the gay fans, so most TV coverage of rugby was of jock straps. If women are not going to complain of perv cameramen and the coverage will have a fair content of beaver and arse shoots, then Hi-de-hi-de-hi-di-hi! Ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ho!
Howdy Folks, Mrs Dingbats aka Sarah Hanson-Young spat the dummy the other day; doo dah, all day long, what a horses mouth, am I to late, no jump up on the cart. Tell us anothery dirty as buggery. Hanson-Young couldn’t boil an egg let alone lay one. What a dunce, what a broken down old hag who can only be the schoolyard cry baby. Take ya dummy and go home.
Howdy Folks, I just read one of the greatest pieces of bullshit fake news I’ve ever read in a long time. Hannah Barry on Catherine Marriott and her Joyce complaint. First of all, Catherine Marriott has never given particulars of her complaint, which is contrary to the principle of law, put ya money where ya mouth is nor will she go to the police. All she’s done is to wail: Attend to me, and shed a tear or two — For I have a song to sing, O! Misery me — lack-a-day-dee!
What is sexual harassment? Now, if you went out to play a game of footy and you were in a scrum only to find you had a finger in ya bum. Heighdy! heighdy! and it was done with the ring confidence. Then me ole mate, that would be sexual harassment of the grossest kind. Catherine Marriott is just another Christine Blasey Ford.
Well folks, there ya go, the Irish Banshee has become the Hag of Bagdad, not to be confused with the Thief of Bagdad (Douglas Fairbanks). Sinead O’Connor has renounced Catholicism and converted to Islam. What a humdinger, Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling. The Mulingar Heifer has donned a Hijab, Allahu Akbar (الله أكبر). Answer me this, she had the shits on about the Pope, how is the dumb arsed Sinead goin to do the Hajj?
Folks, if you are thinking of voting for Kerryn Phelps don’t, vote Liberal and make Phelps swear in. This women is a dud and a left-wing okie whose is only goin to wreck the place with femo bullshit. She has a track record of of anti Australian values and beliefs.
What the heck, Jiminy Cricket, Brett Kavanaugh in the mid-1990s was Assistant Independent Council for the Starr investigation, then probing Bill and Hillary Clinton in the most sensitive way. All you dummies out there thought he was doing the hokey pokey with Christine Blasey Ford. You know, ya put ya right hand in, shake it all about, ya know Chica Chica Bum Chic! Bum Chic! When in fact it was Hillary all the time. What a cheek, the Lady is not for sale. They’ve got the wrong party. As Prince William said, don’t mess with the Queen. Kavanaugh must pay for his Lèse-majesté, off with his head!
I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, Melis Layik, 19, a vegan university student left Q&A speechless after revealing a bully broke into her campus accommodation and threw raw meat at her as she slept. Shock and horror, Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry. First of all get a load of this sheila Layik, she’s got legs right out of Pretty Woman. If this ain’t a publicity stunt to get a fashion gig, well I’ll be damned. Those dumb arses at Q&A took her question seriously. Mate, why would ya leave a horse’s heart at her college door and not a horse’s head unless the bully is in reality a love struck loon whose soul was sad and whose glance was glum who sipped a cup of love sick wine and who craved a naughty, as he sighed for the love of a ladye!
Folks, the world was a pretty happy place until the feminists took over; we’ve had fifty years of it. Isn’t it about time we had a review of the damn thing. It seems to have become crazier and crazier as the years go by. In the beginning, I always thought there was good reason why the world was organised the way it was and then the feminists started their nonsense. It seemed to be that our earthly fathers, the wise old men of the community, couldn’t seem to remember why women should remain in the home as good mothers to their children. We had about seventy years of communism; then one day someone in Russia woke up to the fact, after billions of roubles had been wasted and billions of lives had been destroyed, that communism wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. It didn’t deliver man from the daily drudge. In fact, it ground him further into the mire of despair. Did any of you watch Christine Blasey Ford? This woman has clear mental health issues. She has no grasp of reality. She is living in a fog of deranged feminist ideology, a dupe ready to throw her life and reputation away to further the cause. This woman, Ford, is no different from the female hysterics who threw themselves in front of race horses at Epsom. Why would you go on national TV and swear an oath and give evidence of an event that was thirty years old to which there was not a shred of corroboration. Now Senator Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., 69, a geriatric for Christ sake, says she’s going to run in the 2020 Presidential elections. She was decrying President Trump and Senate Republicans for digging in behind Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh, the embattled Supreme Court nominee who has been accused of sexual assault. If an individual is sexually assaulted, he or she should report the matter immediately to the police; not wait thirty years to make some dumb arsed statement for political or ideological reasons, which cannot be corroborated. Capiche!
Folks, just as I started to settle down after a tumultuous, tsunami of shocks and outrages, I come to find I’ve been sat right down in the shit again without a by your leave. There’s whiskey in the jar, he shouted. Pour yaself a dram or two, bro. Who’ll do me this time, who’ll do me now? Manspreaders, the dirty buggers. Keep ya legs together ya brazen hussy, ya jezebel. Ya the whore of Babylon, bejesus. Ya made me drunk with the wine of her fornication. You’re a manspreader, the mother of harlots and an abomination of the earth. The solution to the problem is according to the femo-nazis, squirting a solution on the trouser area covering the man’s genitals. There goes my only possession; there goes my everything. One banana, two bananas, who’ll do me this time, who’ll do me now? What did Freud call it? Penis envy!