Oh dear, oh deary me, Jessica Mauboy is getting the treatment from all those nasty little racist Europeans. John Kennedy O’Connor said she was terrible, I thought, actually, she’d escaped from Wentworth and was doing cold turkey on stage. Der Spiegel suggested last week that her dress made her look like a dumpling. Oh dear, how true, those short little fat legs of hers, what a to-do, Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! She too fat for me, has anybody here seen Kelly? She’s the one for me.