Canberra 28/8/2017: The ABS has advised the PM that the price of bananas has gone through the roof since the calling of the same sex marriage postal survey. The price is likely to reach $12 a kilo something not heard of in recent history.

One Canberra wag has put this down to the fear amongst women that the ever present phallic symbols of life with be removed from public view and women will develop night starvation. It is said this was one of Dr Freud’s predictions.